Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Hello, all.....

Just wanted to pop in and say hello. I have lots to share with you, but not enough energy to sound witty or interesting. Snarky, mean, or just plain old unpleasant? I can pull that off. But witty or interesting? Not so much.

Here's the Cliff's Note version.... LittleG has started Kindergarten, Big Girl School, with BOYS in it. I am in the midst of PTA Board Member Boot Camp. LittleG has ventured in to the world of organized sports in the form of 5-year old soccer, which is about as close to herding cats as you can get without actual four-legged beasts.

I am just over halfway through with my radiation treatments. I am exhausted. And itchy. And blistered. And bitchy. And braless as often as possible. And still, I have 14 more treatments to go. Heaven only knows how bad I will be three weeks from now.

My big challenge this week is to figure out how I can go to LittleG's soccer tournament this weekend without a bra and not look like total white trash. Given that it's September in Texas, I'm thinking that the layered sweater approach is not going to work.

I've got a stack of books to read but not enough energy to follow a simple story line, or in some cases, a sentence. I am working my way slowly through one about lessons learned (and not learned) about breast cancer. It's struck a chord with me, and it's a shame I can't just sit down and knock it out in one sitting.

I am having a challenge at work that makes me very unhappy and I don't know what to do to fix it, or even if it can be fixed.

We have sort of adopted this crazy little dog and we are working him into our family. He's fitting fairly well, but adjusting to another living being is just another interesting turn of events for us.

My life sounds kind of like it sucks right now, but truly, it doesn't.

Did I mention my kid started school? And soccer? And that I've been entrusted to make school a better place for 900 kids? And that I have health insurance and a job to pay for it all?

School has been eye opening, and at turns, hysterical. Seems our LittleG is a tiny bit boy crazy. I don't for the life of me get where she gets THAT. But that's another blog.

My home life, new canine notwithstanding, has been pretty darn good. MrG has really stepped up and helped me when I've been too tired to function, letting me nap on weekends, and running taxi duty to and from school. He might just turn into a pretty good soccer dad, too. He doesn't coddle me, but he has been supportive, and dare I say it, nurturing. My sweet baby girl is at turns empathetic and caring, and totally self-absorbed, just as a five-year old should be. My mom, ever present, would do whatever I asked of her at the drop of a dime. My sister, from across the miles, channels energy to me and I feel it from afar, even when I'm too exhausted to let her know.

My friends continue to amaze me with their support and love. From random niceness at the office to an unexpected afternoon with my BFF last week, it's clear to me in every way that I'm not bearing the burden of this summer by myself. I have no way of telling them, without sounding patronizing, how much it means to me when they check on me, or when they leave me the hell alone when they get the vibe that what I need most is solitude. Somehow, they just know what I need, and they give it to me, again and again, asking nothing in return from me.

I have found the most ridiculous way to divert my mind....I'm playing Farmville and Farmtown on Facebook. It is absolutely inane to me that I am harvesting pretend crops and collecting pretend eggs from pretend chickens on a pretend farm with pretend money that I only pretended to earn. And yet, I am almost foolishly proud when I click in and see that I have a row of pretend squash to harvest. I guess it makes me feel like I am at least accomplishing something, when I feel like in real life, I'm missing the boat a lot of the time.

Soon, I hope, I will return from the land of pretend back into the land of reality. In the meantime, I am going to keep pretend farming my pretend crops, and do the best I can to keep my head above water.

It's probably good for all of you that I am as quiet as I am right now, because ohmygosh if I could form coherent thoughts, I would be ALL OVER the scandal that is POTUS speaking to the school children. Hopefully, when I do make it back to the land of the living, the subject will still be timely enough to debate. That will be worth waiting for!

Keep those cards and letters coming in. I'll be back next week. Or not.