My favorite euphemism for the heat is "hotter than the hinges of hell." Apparently, I've used that phrase a time too often, because my officemate recently sent me an email with these phrases. Nothing else, just these. She made her point.
- Hotter than a hen in a wool blanket
- Hotter than a two-dollar pistol
- Hotter'n love in hayin' time
- Hotter than a nanny goat in a pepper patch
- Hotter than a nun's bug
- Hotter than a half-made fox in a forest fire
A couple of weeks ago, I was out picking up dinner when a summer storm popped up unexpectedly. Big fat raindrops fell from the sky, and I kid you not, everyone in the lobby went to the window to watch the few drops that made it to the earth. I stepped outside and drank in the smell of fresh rain, if just for a moment. While I was out there, a little girl in a white car rolled her window down about two inches, stuck a tiny hand out and caught raindrops. I envied her because she touched the rain, when I just got to smell it.
I heard on Friday, I think, that summer only lasts for 35 more days. It's a shame I can't just huddle in the dark, curtains drawn and ceiling fans swirling, until the final days of heat pass. But I will get up every day and head into the heat and wait for cooler days ahead.
Soon, the hot days will pass and we'll be looking at a nice mild winter while the rest of you dig out of snow for three months. But for now, my life sucks more than yours.
I'm off to find a slurpee and a hand fan.