Drop it like it's hot

It's that time of year in Texas again.  The ground is parched and cracked, and if you listen closely, you can almost hear it begging to be watered. The long grass along the highway, formerly regal and tall, is now brown and leaning plaintively, having surrendered its last drop of moisture to the hot summer sun. Trees are drooping, long fields of grass have gone brown in the heat. Even the swimming pools, which usually provide some cooling relief, are superheated. For more than 20 days this summer, we've been over 100⁰.  We had a streak of 100⁰+ days that ran for 18 days in a row, and it's beginning to wear on all of us.

My favorite euphemism for the heat is "hotter than the hinges of hell."  Apparently, I've used that phrase a time too often, because my officemate recently sent me an email with these phrases. Nothing else, just these. She made her point. 

• Hotter than a hen in a wool blanket
• Hotter than a two-dollar pistol
• Hotter'n love in hayin' time
• Hotter than a nanny goat in a pepper patch
• Hotter than a nun's bug
• Hotter than a half-made fox in a forest fire

Anyway,  it has been hotter than the hinges of hell, and all of the above.  At this time of year, electric bills soar, tempers flare, and we all just wait for good news about cooler days ahead.  And I think that's what we got this week....

That's right, folks, I am excited about highs in the high 90s.  How damn hot does it have to be to take a screen shot of your weather forecast, especially when temperatures that high would have the majority of the country calling uncle? The answer is...very.

A couple of weeks ago, I was out picking up dinner when a summer storm popped up unexpectedly.  Big fat raindrops fell from the sky, and I kid you not, everyone in the lobby went to the window to watch the few drops that made it to the earth.  I stepped outside and drank in the smell of fresh rain, if just for a moment. While I was out there, a little girl in a white car rolled her window down about two inches, stuck a tiny hand out and caught raindrops. I envied her because she touched the rain, when I just got to smell it.

I heard on Friday, I think, that summer only lasts for 35 more days. It's a shame I can't just huddle in the dark, curtains drawn and ceiling fans swirling, until the final days of heat pass. But I will get up every day and head into the heat and wait for cooler days ahead.

Soon, the hot days will pass and we'll be looking at a nice mild winter while the rest of you dig out of snow for three months.  But for now, my life sucks more than yours.

I'm off to find a slurpee and a hand fan.