Mentally, the past two months have been a disaster for me. I've worried about the economy. And my job. And MrG's job. And my sister's job. And my mother's health. And my friend's mother's health.
Two of my friends lost their mothers, so then I had to worry about them. (The friends, not the moms).
I had a really tough discussion one day this week with a coworker. It was a lot harder for the other person than it was for me. It was not a pleasant conversation, but I'm glad it happened because I think it needed to. Some things were said that needed to be said, and now we can move on.
I have another co-worker who is on my VERY. LAST. NERVE. My filters are worn totally thin with this person. I am finished. In fact, I fear I may push this particular offender down the stairs at the first opportunity.
As you can imagine, these situations are not improving my outlook on life.
The Desiderata says "do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness." I've tried to use that as a motivator, but it is amazingly hard to play mind games with yourself.
So the mental aspects notwithstanding, physically I've been in some discomfort. My foot still hurts - since January! I've had an annual gyno exam and some dental work done. I am quite certain I've been violated in damn near every orifice in the past two weeks.
The nice dentist gave me pain medication, but the gyno didn't even buy me dinner. I'm feeling a little cheap right now.
Mother Nature cannot seem to decide what season it is. One day in February, it was 88 degrees. When I got up this morning, my outside thermometer showed 36 degrees. WTF?
It's allergy season, and I'm pretty much sniffling, sneezing, dripping and draining. Not adding to my feeling of well being, or improving my mood. Not one little bit.
MrG's response to my mental and physical state of being? "Boo-effen-hoo!" Someone please tell me again why I married him?!
Since Mr. Sensitivity isn't being much help, I'm kind of on my own, so I've been running through my self-soothing options. Exercise? Hah! Even if I wanted to, I couldn't do it - the foot hurts too much. Fresh air and sunshine? Yeah, right. Only on alternating days when it's not freezing or raining. Drugs? Too illegal. Wine? Too hang-overish.
So, what's left?? I've turned to my kitchen. The center of home and hearth. Solace and peace in this topsy turvy world.
Despite my near mental and physical breakdown, my family is in pretty good shape. Why? Because I've turned out some terrific homemade pita bread, a decent atttempt at naan, a most excellent pot of white beans, some really yummy oven-fried fish, and some respectable banana bread. Did I mention that banana bread makes the BEST french toast EVER?
Nothin' says home cookin' like Mommy losing her mind.
I've also bought and consumed Girl Scout Cookies, and Easter candy of all shapes and sizes. On the upside the Girl Scout cookies are long gone. And the Easter candy is, for the most part, the least worst kind - jelly beans, Peeps, marshmallow eggs. Not an m&m or Snickers in sight! And in all fairness, I bought the candy because I needed it for LittleG's Easter Egg hunt (or the more politically correctly named Spring Holiday Egg Hunt).
In my defense, I've also made some healthy food discoveries. I found Brothers All Natural Fruit Snacks, lovely freeze dried bags of fruit that run about 40 to 60 calories. They have lots of varieties (banana, pear, and apple are my favorites) and are sweet, crunchy, and packed with the same nutrients as fresh fruit. Yummy!
Thank heavens summer is on its way because at least every third day or so, we are able to go out and grill dinner. It's fast, it's healthy, and I don't have to wash a dish!
I'm looking forward to getting this whole worry thing behind me and feeling good again. Fresh air, sunshine, healthy food. All bodes well for my mental health. Which is good, because soon it will be hotter than the hinges of hell and I'll have something else to gripe about. Ever forward, friends.
I gotta go. There are some pink Peeps calling my name.