Friday, March 13, 2009

I'm Out of Here!

My friend Dorothy gets the shout out for the inspiration for tonight. More on her later.

I am..... Wigged out. Freaked out. Burned out. Worn out.

I'm all of that, and more. We have some heavy stuff going on at work this week. And I'm just DONE with it. Some of you don't know this, but I work in an industry that's dependent upon people who sell stuff to people who build houses.

For those of you who have not been paying attention, the housing market is in a little trouble right now. And thus, my team, and the other teams at my office, are facing sales situations that most of us in our 30s and young 40s have never had to face.

We don't know how to sell in a down economy, because we've never had to do it. We're used to, as salespeople, picking ourselves up, brushing ourselves off, and sometimes blowing sunshine up our own shorts when we've occasionally been told No. Before now, that' s been the exception rather than the rule. But right now, we're hearing No a lot more often than we're hearing Yes. And that wears on you.

There's only so much a salesperson brings to the party. When we tap it out, there's nothing else to draw upon.

To top it all off, the people we work for are smart. Very smart. And I think, although we've not been told (at least not in so many words), that they are going to be faced with making some very tough decisions in the coming days or weeks or months about who stays and who goes.

It's no fun to know your every move is being monitored. Frankly, it's scary as hell. But metrics exist for a reason, and if for nothing else, they bring a level of objectivity to the process that may have been missing before.

We've all been thinking, wondering, planning, all this time for SOMETHING to come down the pipe. We can feel it in the air, although we've not been told in so many words, that change is near.

So today, the closed door meetings with the hoohahs commence. So-and-so bigwig is looking very grim, we decide. And the other one? Decidedly cranky.

But what does it mean?

We all wonder, and we all ponder. I read on CNN this week that survivors - those who remain after a company goes through layoffs - actually have more stress than those who are laid off. They wait, and they wonder, "Am I next?"

We've only had one layoff, and in the grand scheme of things, it was not a big one. And yet, we salespeople know we are being watched, and we know our days may be numbered. And it is scary. Very scary.

I think about my friends in the company and wonder who among us will survive, and who among us will remain to pick up the pieces. I am sad to think that my happy little job with my decidedly terrific clients might be rocked by a transfer to another group or a change in my territory. Or, God forbid, what if I'm the one who doesn't make the cut?

Worst of all, I have no idea WHEN or even IF it might happen. Sometimes it sucks to be a minion!

There may not be a single thing at work more terrifying to me than thinking something is in the works that affects my day to day life and not knowing a damn thing about it.

So tonight, I am done.

I am giving myself permission beyond this moment, 8:47 pm, not to worry about whatever may or may not be going on at the office. I've fixed myself a lovely Crown Royal Reserve on the rocks (which I have never done before). I plan to drink it and enjoy it.

Here in just a moment, I will be headed down the hall to sing the "Soap up my duck" song to LittleG. I will put her in her jammies, help her brush her teeth, read to her, and have a cuddle.

Afterwards, I'll have an hour or so on my own and I'll start the whole process over for MrG. Out of respect for most of you (and my mother!), I will spare you the details. Write your own joke here, folks, because by then, I will have had my lovely shot of Crown, and I may not even be able to put on my own jammies....

Monday will come soon enough, and it will start all over again. In the meantime, I owe it to myself and my family, to leave work at work. I am SO OUTTA HERE!

The time will come, eventually, when I can give you an update on our current saga. At least I hope.

Lady Steele

I haven't talked about Dorothy because she deserves her very own blog. And it needs to be a good one. I promise, I've been carefully considering the right words to use for her. And when you finally get to hear about her, it will be worth the wait. Or not, because I don't know that I can dig that deep. We'll see.

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